The Unspoken

http://szewui.fotopages.com/

Enjoy =)

It’s abt a girl in Japan back then in 20th century, when geisha was still the main entertainment. She was born poor, sold to a city as the mom was sick, and later the dad also passed on after the mom’s death. Though pretty, she was sold as a slave to a geisha house and didn’t get to learn to be geisha until she was 14, a few years later. Reason being the famous but evil geisha who lived in the same house didn’t like her, as she was obviously a threat to her.

Later she was adopted as younger sister to another geisha, who was kind and famous, and was the evil geisha’s main rival. And so she learned the dance, the songs, the way to treat men, the correct way to talk, sit & walk, the way to pour tea, and to carry herself so she would one day become a famous geisha and win the battle between the 2 famous geisha.

Besides the evil and interesting tactics we learned from the 2 geishas, as the evil geisha always wanted to destroy this poor girl, it also tells of the girl’s fantasy of love. She’s fond of a man, who’s probably 30 years older than she is, but because of his kindness and sweetness, she couldn’t help but grew her love for him daily.

To cut the long story short, one of the event that this lil girl needed to do was to offer herself for a man. A few selected men had to bid for her, the winner is the one who bid the highest. Situation was as such tht though she was pretty and all that, she couldn’t choose her own man. Those men that her older sis (the kind sis) chose for her were old / ugly / peculiar men. But beggar can’t be chooser, geisha are not exactly an aristocratic career, they were just entertainer, so she had no choice and was of course sad, tht the man of her choice was not one of the men.

Anyway, there were a lot of politics (or geishatic) going on since the foe was extremely mad about her climbing up as a true blue geisha who was versatile and pretty, and that is how the story entice all readers to the story.

Well, in the end we learnt that the lil girl got what she wanted, in a way, though the journey was difficult and complex. Many many times she wanted to give up, many times wanted to escape, countless tears, countless nightmares. However, she understood that "the world was no more permanent than the wave rising on the ocean.. all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper". And therefore, all struggle and pain and suffering will be gone, at the end of it all.

Well, the story is not really a fiction, as the story is actually based on a true geisha story. Just tht the geisha who contributed her life story to the author has passed on. She asked the author to publish the book only after her death, perhaps didn’t want to bring up any unnecessary conflict with her enemies. But how true the story is, we won’t know, but herself. Anyway the author, Arthur Golden might have added his own version to make the story more interesting. Whatever it is, the geisha tale is perfectly extraordinary, a wonderful achievement.

small note: Clik here on my other blog abt Memoirs. And since now that I have read the book, I’d say that reading is definitely more pleasurable than seeing the movie.

Anthony Robbin says that everyone manifests. Therefore, if we just put down our every thoughts into thinking, and working, everyone can be a star, everyone can come out with brilliant ideas, everyone is an inventor, creator, designer, author..

Like myself, I think I have had ideas for my blog throughout the days, just that I don’t write down, and pooofff, they are just gone..

I am a person who is in touch with sensuality, sometimes too much of it, can’t bring myself thinking objectively. So naturally I move with the flow, I am in touch with the tide.. But I know sometimes the only correct thing to do is to move against the tide, and the harder I try, the faster I could get to the shore.. I can’t be drown, or shadowed by the ocean, can’t be swallowed by the universe…

Am not sure whether this make sense to you.. But I am feeling the pain, the agony, the frustration, the ache, the ugliness, the rush, the challenge, the cut, the silence, the darkness, the sadness, the beauty, the laughter, the withdrawal syndrome, the hype, the mess, the 3651 other feeling you cld put in here, during this period, very apparently, too apparent that I wish I cld make it more vague.

There’s a drug that if you taste it, your senses will be 100x the usual taste. Like orange, suppose to be, say 2 unit of sweet, and 3 unit of sour, after taking the drug, you will be feeling 200 unit SWEET, and 300 unit of SOUR!!! Yeah.. like that, I am feeling like I am feeling the feeling 100x more like the usual me.. Am very happy at a moment, the next thing is sad.. and it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on etc etc… … .. .

Now dun mistaken me that I have tasted the drug. I don’t do drug.. And you young ppl out there, pls dun you ever try. You will regret it later.. If you are lucky and not addicted to it, you will probably have some side effect that you hate later.. or have memory loss or something.. so dun try ok? If you want to be as pretty as me, dun you ever try..

I am just posting this so you cld understand what I want to say.

But sometimes I ask myself, what good is it when the whole world knows about how I feel? Cld I turn back the clock? Could I go back to the past? Wld ppl really understand me? Wld I have a better live? No.. answer is down right NO..

But human being is funny, sometimes even if you know that there’s nothing much you cld do, you still want to try.. I am writing here, sacrificing my sleep (not as if I cld sleep) writing into the unknown cyber space, but the problem still persist.. A friend ask me to try putting the happy cap, and move on.. no point posting the gloomy loomy baloony thoughts, but I just indulge in it. I guess i am addicted to blogging…

Charming

Blow my mind away

Yawn..

It’s a working day tomorrow dear world.. Let’s sleep and hope for a better tomorrow.

Lately am hooked to this song my Natasha Badingfield, like the melody and the way she carries out her tune. Funny, though I like the song, I can’t seem to remember the lyrics. I guess the evil age is really catching up. Last time I could learn new songs with just few practices and memorised the whole new melody plus the lyrics and the time to pause and the time to breath in/out, also the time to change key plus the second voice dadada.. But now, maybe the brain is conditioned to only remember certain ‘important’ things, hence no space to keep other things.

Ah well, no point thinking of the past, just have to do more of the songs, am sure I can master it in no time =)

The lyrics for your convenience…

I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

(Chorus)

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can’t live
that way

(repeat Chorus)

// example illustrating the emotion of szewui::list. 

// This is *not* an example of all mood, 

just an illustration of some temporary distraction

#include<history>

#include<emotion>

#include<belief>

Using human std;

struct Entry {

        historical event;

        int number;

        Entry(const historical event& n, int i) :emotion(n), number(i) { }

};

list<Entry> emotions;

void print_entries()

/*

        When you are in doubt, always refer to God

*/

{

        typedef list<Entry>::const_iterator LI;

        for (LI i = historical event.begin(); i != historical event.end(); ++i) {

               const Entry& e = *i;   // reference used as shorthand

               cout << '{' << e.event << ' ' << e.number << "}\n";

        }

}

/*

        Are you sure you want to display your emotion?

*/

{

        typedef list<Entry>::const_iterator LI;

        for (LI i = historical event(); i != historical event.end(); ++i) {

               const Entry& e = *i;   // reference used as shorthand

               if (s == e.event) {

                       cout << e.event << ' ' << e.number << '\n';

                       return;

               }

        }

}

void f(const Entry& e, list<Entry>::iterator i, list<Entry>::iterator p)

/*

        just some nonsense emotion

*/

{

        event.push_front(e);   // add at beginning

        event.push_back(e);    // add at end

        eventinsert(i,e);      // add before the element referred to by `i'

        event.erase(p);        // remove the element referred to by `p'

}

int main()

{

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("disappointment",1));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("mad",2));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("frustrated",3));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("distracted",4));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("sleeplessness",5));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("emptiness",6));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("loneliness",7));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("despair",8));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("messy",9));

        Historical event.push_back(Entry("lost",10));

 

}

Attended a workshop conducted by the marketing folks, to brainstorm and to generate ideas for business breakthrough.

There were a few activities carried out. Among all, we interviewed some people out of the banking industry, just to get to know them, and ‘think revolutionary’.

My observation for interviewing people is that, generally people want to be heard. People want to communicate, and people are delighted when others take interest in what they do, people start sharing where there’s a common ground between the interviewer and the interviewee. However, people are bound by certain rules, and therefore certain information are left unanswered, and sometimes people are too reserved as they are afraid that for revealing certain information, they will be doomed.

We started our chat with this lady of about 35 years of age. She is pretty reserved in the beginning, but after her colleague shared to us his experience, she started to share as well, of course, with our probing too. The guy is about her age, perhaps a lil younger. We asked not of banking products, but of the nature of their job, so it’s easier for them to talk. They are VERY proud of what they are doing, and they say the reason why there are repeat sales is because they know their customers by name, and they know what the customer wants. They even customized products just for some of their customer. Also the rule of the thumb is that they never say no. Even if they don’t have those stuff with them, they will buy for their customer from other outlets.. Not bad huh?

Well anyway, certain things that we want to know have been referred to another department, of which we were turned down, as they were very much touched on ‘company secrecy’ so to speak. It didn’t really affect us that much, as we did the exercise just to sort of get some idea, there’s no framework whatsoever, so don’t mind being refused.

Okay, now the revolutionary exercise. We are supposed to list down all rules bounded in the business, and brainstorm to see if we could breakthrough. Here, I noticed that certain people really can think of all rules that some people can’t see. But of course certain rules are not to be broken, for example, the 24 hours in a day kind of rule, no man can break, we could only modify, like sleep less, or play less to accomplish more in the same time boundary.

When the exercise was taken place, my lil brain was telling me that I know that I am a person who’s abided by much rules, rules that I don’t break, rules that I will abide to.. I suppose we call it stubborn.. or I suppose I just don’t change. Though there’s always exception, like over the years I have learnt to move my body where there’s music, whereas previously I prefer to sit / stand still even if there’s great music, unless I am on a dance floor (parent’s punya teaching la, have to be prim and proper); like I have learnt to laugh out loud if I feel like laughing, unlike previously just cover the mouth and reserve my smile…

Not sure whether it’s good or bad, but I suppose because of this upbringing of mine, and because of my stubborn mindset, I am who I am today, and I am where I am today.

Sleepless nights

Tormenting

Tired throughout the days

But restless at nights

Tried reading a boring book

To help go slumbering

But woke up early in the wee hour

Not knowing what to do

Tried restrain from favourite coffee

But resulted feeling even more depressed

So have gone back to having it

Afterall a little bit of caffeine

Is a mild antidepressant

That help fight the gloomy misery

No big deal not having enough sleep

For optimist it is a good opportunity

To do more other things

In this 24/7 time frame

But how long more you could feel accomplished

When you are feeling so darn lousily tired in the morn

But all these were evil negative thoughts

Need to adjust to think more positively

Insomnia….

The cure is perhaps a sleeping pill

But I refuse to take those capsules

As I am not yet ill still

Fighting to adjust the new change in me

Trying to fit in things to accommodate this

Hopefully it is a short term interference

Before my life is back to perform like norm

But it has been weeks or months

And I am tired of waiting for natural body inertia

To fight against this bloody insomnia

I guess I just have to have peace

With anyone everyone

Including the unholy trinity me

Yesterday a bunch of us had an attachment with the group’s subsidiary company in a far far away place. Well, frankly all of us know that a 1 day trip won’t make us gain much, but still we went, each with very different expectation, also to hope that we could learn some best practices from them.

Now, though I have pigeon-holed that I won’t learn much from the trip, I must stress that I got something out from the visit, not so much related to our process, but the attitude.

They employ something called FISH philosophy. It’s a very fun strategy they adopt in the work place, basically the philosophy breaks into 4 criterion, ie

1. Play 

2. Make someone a day

3. can’t remember

4. can’t remember too (that’s the problem of not writing down the important points.. bleh)

Well, in a nut shell, they believe that work doesn’t necessary have to be dull and boring, but a fun and loving place, that people look forward to. This bunch of fish mongers from Seattle, Washington just throw fish to each other, and have fun while doing business there, so much so that people from all over the world start visiting them to see them work. Amazing!

It is again, attitude. I realise that attitude is the key ingredient in one’s life. It works in Seattle, it will definitely work here in Malaysia. But of course I am not saying that we should throw PC or mouse pad or papers all over to make our work place fun, or whatever whatever that only kids do to amuse themselves, but rather having some witty conversation to create a light atmosphere in the work place, not always the gloomy stressful highly corporate environment.

But then again, we always have a concept of a prim and proper setting for especially big corporate company to operate, otherwise we think it will be a disaster for the company, right? That’s why people start wearing corporate 2 pieces la, black coat lar, tie lar, this la that la to create the environment. Like me, am always wearing the corporate clothes when I work. It make sense also.. But every other company believes that if people feel comfortable, they will naturally produce more, that’s why we have a dress down day on Friday or Saturday in some companies. That is also, provided they don’t meet customer la.. otherwise wearing baby T and torn tattered jeans won’t bring business to the company (or so we think).. Hhmm, me think it’s just a matter of time that all company will allow the backend team to wear casual wear to work, with the intention of having better productivity when people are comfortable.

That’s that, but when it comes to having fun while at work.. hhmm it’s a lil harder. You see generally Asian are die hard workaholic, we are the most workaholicest amongst the workaholic (Check out the stat yourself.. it’s another long winded blog if you wanna) and we are also kiasu. For us if we laugh too much, we are ‘not serious’, if we play too much, we are not ‘resourceful’, if we have too much of time-out, we are just ‘lazy’, if we do other things than the normal BAU work stuff, we are ‘fidgety’ etc etc etc…….

So, I think to implement this FISH philosophy across Malaysia is a tall order, at least I believe. I betcha not in this 10 years time, though it sure is a dam good idea.

Well, I would love to work in a company that adopts the idea. Anyone wants me?

Extension of my blog about

Hong Kong

trip.

There’s one evening we decided to go to their McD cause they sell pork there, which cannot be found in Malaysia obviously… To my amazement, they have McCafé there. The McCafé’s bar is somewhat like our normal San Fran, Starbucks and Coffee Bean, just that besides the bar, they have the normal McValue meal counter.

McCafé.. Ain’t it a very contradictory concept? The restaurant is supposed to be fast and furious, but on the other hand, a café should be slow and steady. So they are actually trying to capture both crowds eh? Does it work here?

Hhmm..

Anyway, I didn’t get to try the coffee, though I was dying to taste it, my heavenly addiction, cause the price was like sky high, and I only had money for shopping J.. So just post it up here la.. next time if you happen to go there, remember to taste their coffee for me ya?

And ask if the concept works.. Call me and we shall talk business ok? *wink*

A cuppa would do me good now..

my bed

Sarah .. the sweetest thing.. =)

Tea in Hong Kong… Check out the cup design! Cute!                            

  Dinner @ Bumboo Bali…                         

My tea set.. = ) (HK)